Most of us have a strong sense of identity and we have many memories, experiences, and stories that feed into and support this view or ourselves as a person, friend, family member, lover, and job holder. We may think of ourselves as strong, intelligent, kind, empathetic, capable, wise, open-minded, considerate, or perhaps have limiting beliefs about inadequacy, failure to achieve, money, our looks, selfishness, unlovability, or weakness.
Our ego supplies a constant stream of random thoughts and many are negative. When these are combined with the stories we keep about ourselves, the mixture is powerful and can easily fool us. Any negative or limiting beliefs are supported and reinforced by the stories we tell ourselves. The combination of what is actually a baseless ego fear and an accompanying story which seems to support it is very powerful and dangerous. It is also dysfunctional.
If we can release these stories then our lives are instantly improved. It is likely that many of the stories were formed when we were young and ignorant, at times of stress, or in situations where we based them on flawed information and a negative bias.
To release our stories we require honest and non-judgmental introspection. The first step is to notice the particular worry, fear, insecurity, anxiety, etc. Then notice the stories we tell which help support the supposed characterization about us. With continued introspection we may eventually identify the root causes of those negative feelings, whether they spring from childhood or more recent experiences.
We then need to give ourselves unconditional forgiveness. We did the best we could at the time and were powerless to alter many of the circumstances, bad actors, and feelings which contributed to the self-limiting beliefs we picked up.
By shining the light of our consciousness on these beliefs and offering true forgiveness to ourselves, we are able to accept things without further belief or rumination. We walk away from guilt, doubt, and the self-imposed prison of these stories. We are every bit as significant, loveable, and powerful without having to define ourselves through these limiting stories. Our identity and true self do not vanish when we release the stories. We are able to be more present and live in the Now.
DAMON LEVINE
Jonathan Abu
This was such a thoughtful and powerful piece. I really liked how you broke it down using relatable ideas—showing that brokenness isn’t a punishment but preparation. The way you blended scripture, personal reflections, and that codfish metaphor brought everything together in a meaningful way. It completely changes how we think about suffering and encourages a deeper, more purposeful outlook on pain. Thank you for tackling a subject so many people wrestle with and bringing such clarity to it.